Thursday, June 4, 2009

I'm glad May is over

It's been a long week, and that's saying something because I thought May would never end. Lessons learned:

•Should one get in an accident with a car whilst riding one's bike, don't be nice. Call the police. If one doesn't, the asshole driver that caused the accident will call two weeks later and try get $250 for the mirror one broke with one's leg whilst fishtailing to avoid a direct impact that could've caused serious injury. Asshole driver should just be happy that he didn't kill anyone with his mindless driving in the presence of cyclists and pedestrians. One now has a lawyer should this asshole want to be taken to the cleaners.

•Don't shop at Men's Warehouse. They will tailor a suit incorrectly, and then call one a moron because the correct fit of a suit should apparently make it impossible to raise one's arms. After attempting to force the ill-tailored suit upon one, they finally concede it's tailored like shit. Upon returning to collect the replacement jacket, they will try to sell one the degenerate suit, again. After this, they will make one feel like shit for making them do the paid-tailoring correctly. In the end, they will have tailored one in three suit coats well. Don't shop at Men's Warehouse.

•Just because one's coworkers are scheduled to work does not mean they will. Sometimes they just don't want to, or they "forget" to come in. When one fills in forgoing one's day off, one will sit at work and listen to coworkers complain about how they deserve more time off. Just because they show up for their shift, this doesn't mean that they'll work either. One can be guaranteed that coworkers will complain about about pretty much everything, though.

•Without an ass-kissing gene, one may work the hardest of everyone and go unnoticed.

More to come . . .