Not a Teacher
For those of you keeping track of my employment history and search for the perfect job, you can scratch teacher off the list. It’s not that it wouldn’t be fantastic to be an educator. Teachers are fabulous, brilliant, selfless individuals (well, for the most part). My memory has canonized several men and women who fostered my will to seek an adventurous life, and the tools to do it with (shout out to Carol Varner). However, as with all else in this wide world, some are simply suited to the task better than others.
QUESTION: Audrey, how do you know that you wouldn’t enjoy teaching?
ANSWER: I’m doing it right now. Not this minute exactly, but through the month of July to help out Alex’s school. Part time work with 8-13 year olds is full time work.
QUESTION: Is there something specific that you’re not so keen on?
ANSWER: If I were to have to narrow it down, I’d say the portions of a class where everyone is staring blankly during in class worksheets, and also when I simply run out of things to say. That’s right, I run out of things to say.
QUESTION: Is there anything you enjoy?
ANSWER: Sure, some of the kids are real sweet, and they try very hard.
QUESTION: Shouldn’t you be a good English teacher being that you’re a writer?
ANSWER: You would think so, wouldn’t you? As it turns out, not so much. The school manager says I’m doing a great job, but I’ve learned something quite disturbing about myself through this experience. I don’t know English.
QUESTION: What?
ANSWER: English. I don’t know English.
QUESTION: Yeah, I heard you the first time, and again, WHAT?
ANSWER: Listen, I speak it and write it, but when I think about it I may as well be numbers.
QUESTION: ?
ANSWER: I’m just saying that as I am teaching past/present tense verbs, and when and how to use the correct articles/pronouns that trying to make sense of it through a language barrier can be a bit daunting. It makes the brain tingle, and my knowledge of my native language starts falling out of my ears. Here’s a fun fact, knowledge looks like molasses peppered with candied beetles. Strange.
QUESTION: Does Alex have the same reaction and feelings toward teaching?
ANSWER: No. He actually likes it. I’ve asked him many times, and keep asking because I cannot believe that a person could enjoy watching their sanity slip away from them. We may have already lost him.
QUESTION: Audrey, how do you know that you wouldn’t enjoy teaching?
ANSWER: I’m doing it right now. Not this minute exactly, but through the month of July to help out Alex’s school. Part time work with 8-13 year olds is full time work.
QUESTION: Is there something specific that you’re not so keen on?
ANSWER: If I were to have to narrow it down, I’d say the portions of a class where everyone is staring blankly during in class worksheets, and also when I simply run out of things to say. That’s right, I run out of things to say.
QUESTION: Is there anything you enjoy?
ANSWER: Sure, some of the kids are real sweet, and they try very hard.
QUESTION: Shouldn’t you be a good English teacher being that you’re a writer?
ANSWER: You would think so, wouldn’t you? As it turns out, not so much. The school manager says I’m doing a great job, but I’ve learned something quite disturbing about myself through this experience. I don’t know English.
QUESTION: What?
ANSWER: English. I don’t know English.
QUESTION: Yeah, I heard you the first time, and again, WHAT?
ANSWER: Listen, I speak it and write it, but when I think about it I may as well be numbers.
QUESTION: ?
ANSWER: I’m just saying that as I am teaching past/present tense verbs, and when and how to use the correct articles/pronouns that trying to make sense of it through a language barrier can be a bit daunting. It makes the brain tingle, and my knowledge of my native language starts falling out of my ears. Here’s a fun fact, knowledge looks like molasses peppered with candied beetles. Strange.
QUESTION: Does Alex have the same reaction and feelings toward teaching?
ANSWER: No. He actually likes it. I’ve asked him many times, and keep asking because I cannot believe that a person could enjoy watching their sanity slip away from them. We may have already lost him.
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