Part I: reality tv recap

Are you sexy?
Newest in the line of smarmy, appalling and what-the-hell-were-they-thinking-TV, comes Are You Hot? The Search For America’'s Sexiest People. There I was on another sleepless night, channel-surfing without destination, and I land on a show just as they are introducing their esteemed, celebrity judges. Needless to say, when I saw that Lorenzo Lamas was considered a celebrity, I had to see what the hell required his “expertise”. Did anyone else know he was considered an international sex symbol? Have the women of the world gone blind, or are they so desperate that they find a fake-baked, over-bleached, badly-botoxed shell of a man attractive?


"International Sex Symbol" taking himself too seriously.
 
Anyway . . . I cannot tell you the rules of the show without sarcasm, which wholly ruins the effective seriousness of the competition that makes viewing it hilarious. Therefore, I will simply regurgitate the producers’ words.
“"From coast to coast, thousands of hopefuls gathered in recent weeks to get the chance to compete for the crown of the sexiest man or woman in America. Talent, personality and strategy were not required, just physical beauty and innate sexiness. Now TV viewers get their chance to vote on the Hot Zone Participants from each region as they face a celebrity panel of experts, including Rachel Hunter, Randolph Duke and Lorenzo Lamas.”"
That’'s right, this is a real show, including interview vignettes in which every contestant, and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE, kept whining about what a great personality they have. Really? These people have personalities so great and uncorrupted by ego that they seek validation from Lorenzo Lamas about the salability of their bodies. Going out on a limb, but their mothers must be darn proud!
Top three phrases from female contestant interviews:
1. “I have a great personality. I’'m funny and down to earth. Guys really like that about me.” (It couldn'’t possibly be that you’'re willing to whip out your assets just to hear someone tell you that you'’re good looking?)
2. “I know I'’m good looking, that'’s why I’'m not in front of the mirror all the time.” (Said while nervously playing with hair, looking down, or biting lip.)
3. “I’'m the whole package, good looks and a great personality.” (Spoken like a personal mantra a la ‘"I'’m good enough, I'’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."’)
Top three phrases from male contestant interviews:
1. “I’'m the whole package, what can I say?” (Spoken plainly without a smile. Okay psycho.)
2. “I have a great personality and I think that will come through.” (Yes, especially when the camera focuses only on your abs and chest.  Serious question, is a man’'s personality directly related to his nipples?)
3.“I don'’t just rely on my looks.” (Said most by aspiring models.)
You many be wondering why I have watched it long enough to collect the information to criticize it. Why not turn it off? There are two reasons. First, I like to criticize crap, especially narcissistic crap that further highlights the American obsession with looks and celebrity. Secondly, for the show’'s following catch phrases that made me laugh out loud.
*Your HOTNESS will now be judged.
*Each contestant must make a one minute DELCARATION OF HOTNESS.
*Now, for the moment we’'ve all been waiting for. Each contestant will stand under the
HOT/NOT sign.
* The Countdown to HOTNESS begins.
*Let’s take a look at their SIZZLING journey down the road of HOTNESS to become the HOTTEST person in HOT-merica.
*The road to HOTNESS is paved with tears.
 
 
So the journal of life in Korea has taken an obnoxious turn for this post, BUT there is some relevance. This is the crap that America exports to other countries. This is what they see, and is sometimes all they see. I find it disturbing that the best we have to offer in creative broadcasting are blatantly, over-sexualized reality TV shows, programs that emphasize the egomaniacal, inarticulate, ignorant and self-absorbed segment of our population. C'mon President Bush, is PBS really all that bad?

Comments

Anonymous said…
man, if you think our tv is over-sexed and vain, don't go watch tv in italy... romance countries can put us to shame, but you do get to see a lot more of the action so at least they don't wimp out on that part.

christa
6:33 AM
Unknown said…
i see what you're saying. in many ways, though, america's reality tv is worse. at least in italy they're comfortable in their skin (i.e., not wimping out). the show's from america highlight insecurity and an obnoxious need to be liked no matter how degrading the forum. i mean, c'mon, lorenzo lamas with a laser pointer. that's effen pathetic.
9:12 PM
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